1. |
Art Is Dead
03:21
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Our pain doesn't have to be their entertainment.
My value and worth isn't based on their engagement.
I can't explain it so I know it's hard to understand.
I guess to put it simply like I'm drowning
but don't want your hand.
We wanna be distracted.
My distraction is triumph.
I'm battling myself trapped in the fact
you only die once.
It's who supplies us but we don't blame the supplier
we buy it up consume it
and don't ever say we're tired.
All on my own but I'm not here to settle scores.
Art is dead.
We're holding funerals for record stores.
Less is more.
A true recluse is never bored.
Lost inside a metaphor.
It feels like we're both losing separate wars.
And I'm talking to myself again.
One person's paradise.
Another's hell to end.
Go tell your friends that when I'm a skeleton
I'll finally be relevant and they can go sell my pens.
To the highest bidder
or a private sinner.
But the only time they write is when
their life is bitter.
I'm looking for a way to escape tragedy.
We write about the trauma.
We don't write about the happily.
People make me anxious.
I can feel my heartbeat.
It's all outta pocket
since streaming made the art free.
It's our dream but also partly a nightmare.
Like playing for fifteen people in Times Square.
And I'm there but I'm also really far away.
Will these records have effects?
I guess it's still too hard to say.
It helps to cry.
It ain't been the same since Ellie died.
And they can't tell me why all our pain is televised.
Aye
This whole time in my life has been unusual.
I've desperately been trying to make something beautiful.
You don't have to be in pain for this.
You don't even have to pay for this.
How many monthly listeners will I have when I die?
Is anybody listening?
Or did you all unsubscribe?
I'm happier here/
I'm happy you're here.
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2. |
Just Views
02:30
|
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|
This ain't my career but I'm also not a hobbyist.
Find me either talking shit
or reveling in awkwardness.
If I'm famous posthumous
give money to my nephews.
Cause I want a legacy
worth more than just views.
This mountain I've been climbing
feels so unforgiving.
Gets harder to commit
when you know someone's listening.
I can't hear the metronome.
I just want some better poems.
Is this worth even doing?
I guess I'll just never know.
How many records can I make
to fill a void?
If it feels good to live through tragedy
is it joy?
I went looking for something and
lost myself wholeheartedly.
Tried to climb upwards
and found it partially hard to breathe.
I guess this is my life's work.
And I'm proud if that's how pride works.
But I've been praying at the altar of an angry god.
Waiting for a future I don't want still hanging on.
I never saw my name in lights.
Never wanted the fame
I didn't think it was right.
I thought I'd need all eyes on me.
But when people start staring
I don't wanna be seen.
I'm cashing in my view counts.
Asking for a new sound.
Don't ask me where the truth's found.
I'm the burnt candle you blew out.
Achievements made me too proud.
Wish I knew then what I knew now.
Every day's the newest trial.
All we wanna do is smile.
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3. |
Overwhelmed
03:06
|
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|
I don't know if God's real.
But I know that my rent is.
I pray to get through a day
that feels endless.
I'm still hoping to come to my senses.
And realize these milestones are just inches.
I've got too much to do,
I'm overwhelmed.
And most days I wanna tell you to go to hell.
But I don't know if hell's real,
it sounds awful.
To burn for forever cause something's unlawful.
More concerned with sending these shipping containers.
All I want is for my merch to be living with strangers.
Too stressed out to ever be productive.
Way too distracted to remember when lunch is.
So much invested,
I gotta make this post now.
Even if it always seems to go south.
Oh wow...
I completely forgot about that.
Sorry, I'll get on it asap.
Some days I forget where my brain's at.
People hear the music and forget that I'm the same cat.
I lost all nine lives and I'm in heaven.
Really I don't know if heaven's real,
I'm just messin.
I'm on this planet to avoid using people.
Check it off my list.
Whatever moves the needle.
Too much to do I need help.
Too much to do I need help.
Too much to do I need help.
But I can't even help myself.
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4. |
||||
|
In my head
I'm already 65.
Death is on my doorstep.
I think he's getting high.
Exemplified by the way I never hit the brakes.
This body's a burning building
I can't fix the place.
Fifty shades and it's all monochromatic.
I live this way because I just got in the habit.
I talk to the traffic and tell it that I'm running late.
I let it end
to bring the implications that come up with fate.
Thinking on my gravestone's placement
and the wording.
Writing up a will
I'm only in my thirties.
Everyone I've ever met is death-obsessed.
But the grief we all experience
gets repressed in the next breath.
(Chorus)
I think I'm runnin
think I'm runnin
think I'm runnin outta time to die young.x2
I think I'm runnin
think I'm runnin
think I'm runnin outta time to die.
I think I'm runnin, think I'm runnin outta time.
All outta momentum
and also fucks to give.
These arrows go no venom
and also they wanna miss.
Can't afford to start to begin
to fail college.
I can't get hired with hand tattoos,
rings and nail polish.
I'm a long time listener,
first time caller.
An online prisoner
with words I've altered.
Time is of the essence
but my mind is up and restless.
So much life wasted fearing death
is just excessive.
(Ecid)
Aging gracefully.
Accepting a diminished infamy.
My head swells with loops
of the world's tiniest symphony.
Growing infinitely disgusted
with life's repetitive intracacies.
I'm ghost writing my own obituary
like it's a victory speech.
You know the body still works after 25.
You can still fuck, fight, love, hate
and get better with time.
It's the mind sufferin
killin my vibe.
Admittedly ill advised
and willing to strive with a thrill and a high to collide with.
It's been decided go find some psylocibin and die quick.
That ego needs a funeral
preferably on a deserted island.
Maybe then you'll find peace signs
converted to perma-smilin.
Working all the angles
trust yourself,
it's worth all the crying.
Let's stop actin like Pac and B.I.G.
wanted it this way.
Legends live forever
but they still had a lot to say.
Face it,
fetishizing martyrs is a young man's game.
With age comes acceptance.
Life's just a mixture of love and pain.
(Chorus)
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5. |
We Don't Really Say That
00:56
|
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|
Fuck you,
yeah I'd say that shit in public,
yeah I'd say that shit in public,
yeah I'd say that shit in public bro.
Fuck you,
yeah I thought that's what you wanted.
yeah I thought that's what you wanted,
yeah I thought that's what you wanted, yo.
Fuck you,
try and blame it on the substance,
try and blame it on the substance,
try and blame it on the substance, aye.
Fuck you,
yeah to all the friends I'm done with,
to all the friends I'm done with,
always on some fuck shit.
You don't know what it's like
to be broken inside.
Going to dive while holding a knife.
Like I'm over this life,
so we're going to fight.
The soberest eyes
jaded by the vision.
Say it like it's written.
Make it a religion.
Stay in that position.
Pray to be forgiven.
You were speaking
and fell into that same trap.
Homie looked at you like
we don't really say that.
Fuck you,
yeah I'd say that shit in public,
yeah I'd say that shit in public,
yeah I'd say that shit in public, aye.
|
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6. |
Canceled
02:35
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|
(Chorus)
Oh you don't even know.
Woah they canceled the show.
No, the crowd's leaving though.
So we want you to go.
Get the fuck out.
Everybody everywhere's said something
questionable.
Most people play the professional fool
but never been cool.
All the cool kids
wanna be edgelords.
All the youth are throwing rocks
at death's door.
Stress more cause your past could resurface.
Looking back you don't think the crime seemed worth it.
We could be pals too
but your art gets devalued
the moment the abuse is brought to light
and then we out you.
Cancel culture can't assault you
if you aren't a piece of shit.
Take it as a teachable moment.
You needed it.
If it's a rapist in the scene
we should make their faces bleed.
They should be thankful
that all we do is take their streams.
Always thought that you seemed a little sketchy.
Said all the cops on the planet couldn't catch me.
You could've apologized
instead you doubled down.
They you built a wall of lies.
So you could run around.
The underground should stay below the Earth today.
It hurts to say
but I threw all your merch away.
Just know I won't forget you're a monster.
Even with good memories of that first concert.
Get the fuck out.
(Chorus)
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7. |
Try Hard
01:04
|
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8. |
Resume
03:56
|
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|
I don't wanna work anymore, anymore.
I don't wanna open up another fuckin door.
I'm gonna quit my job today
because I'm sore.
I'm gonna quit my job today
then I'll be poor.
I'm gonna not show up today.
I'm gonna walk away.
I'll call in sick today,
I don't wanna get paid.
I'm gonna stop for good today,
it's not up for debate.
I think I'll quit my job today.
I fuckin hate this place.
The work day shouldn't be eight hours.
All these bosses talk shit,
and stay cowards.
The minimum wage should be fifteen bucks.
If you don't agree you haven't lived enough.
And I could give a fuck if it isn't skilled labor.
Life is just a contract
and money's still paper.
(Chorus)
I'm gonna quit my job today.
I'm gonna quit my job.
I'm gonna quit my job today.
I'm gonna just write songs. x2
I used to make pizzas
for a living.
Worked four or five places
then I realized why I'm quitting.
Used to work in a warehouse.
Quit that shit
slept on someone's spare couch.
I used to sort a ton of packages.
But I was so miserable something had to give.
Spent a few years of my life working grave shift.
Living upside down,
unnatural as a day gets.
I used to work a casino.
The lost world's nocturnal.
Felt like a dream though.
Once upon a time I was a barback.
Shoulda learned to paint.
Shoulda took an art class.
Then I worked on slot machines.
The jackpots had not gone to me.
After that I left to install garage doors.
Which is okay,
but I belong on tour.
(Chorus)
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9. |
Die!
02:52
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|
These people are trying to kill me.
All of your faces look guilty.
Ready and able and willing.
The audience don't really feel it.
The killer is standing behind you.
Songs get more random with time too.
They don't care what's on my mind dude.
The audience wants me to die soon.
We like the artist dead.
We like the music label owned.
They won't listen to your tracks until the fables say we're ghosts.
They want an overdose.
They want some broken bones.
They wanna find me in my room,
home alone,
closepinned throat.
They wanna toast to my memory.
I ain't dead yet.
Everyone I knows the enemy.
Eyes sending death threats.
Another artist scandal.
A mother's heart can't handle.
But at least before they passed away
we cleared the sample.
Way before they got canceled.
Before the downfall.
Before the controversy.
Before all their songs were outlawed.
Call me Tommy Cooper.
Demos lost on my computer.
They probably got a shooter.
Leave it up to fate to speculate the rumors.
Let's celebrate the artist's passion
before the artist passes.
Your favorite artist died
not knowin they would reach the masses.
You gotta die for your art.
DIe, die for your art.
Gotta die for your music, that's lit. x3
You gotta die for your art,
Die, die for your art.
Gotta die for your music, that's sick.
These local rappers can't be trusted with a 16.
The studio audience wants to mince me
into mince-meat.
Imagine charging 150$ for a rap verse
and then not writing something close to what that's worth.
Fast work for any real and true artist.
And maybe not waiting four months for it
makes me too heartless.
I'm so real
I was born to bury suspicion.
More than morbid,
it's this or mortuary technician.
They really want a martyr.
They want another savior.
They want your life to be harder,
they want the misbehavior.
I'm really out here,
I don't cosplay.
I ruined my whole life
and ultimately lost faith.
Motherfuckers that don't rap
got fans in the thousands
and I still can't get em to check out my 15 albums.
I'm drowning cause I was never really taught to swim.
Lightheaded and I bet it's from a lack of oxygen.
I'm not your friend.
I'm another dead prophet.
Used to give a fuck
and I guess that I just lost it.
Your favorite artist crossed the line
and didn't know they crossed it.
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10. |
Severed/Together
02:50
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I keep earnestly digging
in my backyard to find
skeletal remains buried there.
To show them to anyone
who finds their own similar.
As though that's a substitute
for getting to know you.
See there's a disconnect.
Cause it seems like I want
friends, and fans
and followers, and fame.
But the truth is
I struggle to engage with
the ones closest to me sometimes.
I've been looking for a manufactured purpose.
I've been letting my pain define that purpose.
But I am not my bad days.
Even if that's what I remember most.
We're all in this, together.
But severed.
Despite what some people will tell you
the truth could be in religion,
drugs or health food.
But in the end Rome fell too.
And only you can help you.
And I want there to be a reason for this.
But maybe that reason is
meaninglessness.
And it seems that the risk outweighs the sentiments.
The sun wanted to come out
but the clouds they resented it.
I need something as dense as this
to try and be submerged in.
I'm an artist that
sometimes wants to forget
I'm a person.
And when it worsens
it feels like it just keeps raining.
Like the files got erased,
smashed the frame,
freed the painting.
I won't lie and say it's sunny.
I can't fake that type of effort
when the weather is ugly.
These clothes are soaked
and I didn't bring an umbrella.
Shoulda stayed inside today
and maybe played some Zelda.
Or wrote and acapella
about why it is I do this.
Swimming through these flooded streets.
Fighting with these two fists.
It can't always rain
even in we want it to. (x3)
And it's all the same,
nothings really up to you. x2
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11. |
Day Glow
00:34
|
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12. |
Hourglass
02:02
|
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|
My hourglass is broken
and I'd like to take it back.
The bottom's overflowing.
And I can't tape up the cracks.
The whole thing's in bad shape.
Kinda like my luck.
Ever since they flipped it.
I can't seem to get it right side up.
And I'm stuck in this body.
Livin through extremes.
Felt the feeling knockin
talkin through my lucid dreams.
You're asleep on the couch.
I'm pacin in the foreground.
Wonderin how I haven't died out
before now.
One day I will.
Everything comes down to that.
A bunch of measured moments
so this is my hourglass.
This is my hourglass
and I think I'm proud of that,
yeah.
Half-full,
half-empty,
this glass is never ending. x6
(I'm on borrowed time I don't wanna give it back. x3
Guess it's stolen, and so now I have to live with that.)
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13. |
||||
|
I'm wide awake it's morning.
Or I'm at a wake in mourning.
Either could be fake
and misinforming.
It's so boring.
I wanna start touring.
Like all of my predecessors.
But instead I set the record
with all of my desperate measures.
Why do we have to keep it real
when they're disingenuous?
Imposter syndrome's
constant victim,
this shit is so venemous.
All these entertainers
getting faker every decade.
They're waving at these strangers.
Hoping for new ways to get fame.
(Chorus)
You're fake as fuck
like the bots all in your Twitter feed.
You're fake as fuck
like the nods you try and give to me.
You're fake as fuck
like imaginary situations.
You're fake enough
I think that it's a simulation.
You're fake as fuck. x3
You're fake enough.
(Claud Six)
The script has been written
by an infinite group of monkeys.
Before they typed Othello
and much ado about nothing.
To be or not to be,
go out and read The Odyssey.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
I'm trippin off each anomaly.
I'm fixin to probably heed the
many words of warning.
Before they fly away
like a swirling storm of murder hornets.
I blast the void through asteroids
that disturb the orbit
but certain forces are draggin me
down, down and dormant.
From zygotes
to the zealots.
Ameobas
to the airplanes.
Mandella's interstellar
is it Berenstein or Berenstain?
There's some of us with all of it.
Rigging it like fair games.
But we angry at the people begging
for some spare change.
I'm in the thick weeds
smellin like a tree hugger
Trying to turn the sunset
into falling green numbers.
I'm in the cess pool
blooming like a water lily.
Tryin to turn an honest wage
into a quarter milli.
But that's a fools errand.
Tear into the fabric
of the space time continuum.
Blind faith oblivion.
So which of you is you
with all these different iterations.
It feels fake as fuck
living in a simulation.
(Chorus)
|
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14. |
A Long Time
01:41
|
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|
Been around now
for a long time.
Watchin people shoot their shots
so I shot mine.
Been around now
for a long time
Right place
right time
just the wrong guy.
Not that I don't have fans
it just never popped.
But being unsuccessful
I'm probably better off.
I can drop whatever records I want to.
And share all of my dumb views.
And tell you I love you.
To whoever
or whomever.
I don't know
I mix it up.
And I'll forever try to do better
I'll bring different stuff.
I adhere the weirdest thoughts.
I'm here with hearing loss.
I wanna tell you what I mean.
But then the theory's botched.
Hey I'm Happy
and I'm 31.
A laughing smiling
worried son.
Who's trying to start
setting on the brightside
burning up.
Instead I gravitate
towards aggravating
what's been hurting us.
And that's not healthy.
So I'm sorry.
Been around now for a long time
Watchin people shoot their shot
so I shot mine.
Been around now for a long time.
Right place,
right time,
just the wrong lines.
Been around now for a long time.
Watching people sing their songs
and this song's mine. x 2
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15. |
BDE
02:46
|
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|
(Chorus)
This is the best day ever. x3
I know I can't make it better.
This is the best day ever. x3
Sun came out, no rainy weather.
This is the best day ever. x3
Only you could make it better.
This is the best day ever. x3
I wish I could stay forever.
I woke up late today
with all my limbs
and body parts.
Grateful and thankful
I'm awake and that nothing
stopped my heart.
It's not as dark
as it felt like it was last night.
I might be the sad type
but I'm only at my half-life.
I don't have to work my job today
and that's okay.
Found a 20 on the ground
as I started to walk away.
Aye!
The new record's out
and I see it's makin waves.
Everything is changing
but I'm happy nothing stayed the same.
Got plans to kick it with old friends
to toast to new ones.
Started with no fans.
Music's always been the true love.
Today nothing can fuck with me.
I'll go to bed reluctantly.
Tomorrow isn't promised.
And nothing is really up to me.
I make statements publicly.
To say today I love to breathe.
No struggle
just progress
like people claim that they love to see.
I'm feelin grateful
for all the things I've gotten to do.
All of ya'll are angels
even if we know that's not the truth.
(Chorus)
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16. |
Done Suffering
02:14
|
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|
Cut my voice up when I die.
Remix my songs a million times.
Make it new.
Make it fresh.
Make it really feel alive.
Now that it's over I'm done suffering.
If they never wanted me
well they don't owe me a fuckin thing.
I tell you that I miss you.
You're here through all my issues.
That doesn't make it any easier
to get through.
I never thought I'd write this.
Use my image,
use my likeness.
My acceptance is decided.
I won't fight it.
Now you're done suffering.
I hope it's where you wanna be.
Some days I hold it back.
Some days I'm unbuckling.
If I start muttering
tell me to speak clearer.
Without you around here
everything feels realer.
I hope that you're at peace
and you were what you're born to be.
I hope it isn't tragedy.
I hope it's victory. x4
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17. |
||||
|
I remember when we'd stay up all night.
Wouldn't think about sleep til we saw light.
All the sudden you would kick it with the wrong type.
We drifted apart but it's art,
and it's alright.
We talk
but I don't see you in the short-term.
Lost that connection
and it's torture.
Cause I still know your inside jokes.
And I'll be known when I'm a ghost.
And I don't know
if I can go and listen
to the dial tone
or if I can grow.
When the past got me by the throat.
And I feel like if I'da known
I wouldn't write a poem
about waiting by the phone
cause it ain't like I'ma die alone
if I die by this microphone.
(Chorus)
This is for friends I outgrew.
I hope you miss me
I miss you too.
And I ain't sayin that I'm better than you
I just don't get blackout drunk
and sleep til noon.
This is for friends I outgrew.
I hope you miss me.
I miss you too.
And I ain't sayin that I'm better than you.
I just don't do the same drugs we used to do.
And I'm by no means
clean and sober.
But I learned demons
don't need exposure.
I bring it up
because I needed closure.
Wouldn't let me in the club.
I don't know the code word.
I blame all the minutes passing.
Or my voice when it gets this raspy.
All I know is I've never been as happy
as the last time I heard my friend
started laughing.
(Chorus)
|
||||
18. |
||||
|
I ain't dead yet.
I haven't broken down.
You can be the ocean,
I'd happily slowly drown.
I'm a no one in town
and that's fine.
I was probably also a no one
in a past life.
Clocks have three hands.
I only have two.
Time always carries more weight
it's the sad truth.
Stuck in a routine,
ballet before bed.
Dancing towards a new me
outweighed by these sore legs.
I don't want your sunny days or public spaces.
Most days I don't wanna see your fucking faces.
I'm a thrift store purse.
Filled up with artifacts.
So much nostalgia.
I don't know where my car is at.
I'm a part of that.
And it's a part of me.
All this uselessness
in my lungs
and in my arteries.
I'm trying to stop saying "I"
in every line
cause they say it means that I'm depressed.
But I'm fine.
A promise.
I think.
Or I'm partially convinced.
That all these machinations are
starting to make sense.
When May hit
I realized I had aged.
Woke up confident and then I went to bed afraid.
Old friends had kids and claimed conservative.
I'm still that anxious little ugly nervous kid.
And I ain't dead yet but I'm here now.
So put your hands up high
if you feel down.
Everything's okay.
Everything's fine I guess.
I'd stoop to your level
but can't find the steps.
My mind's a mess
I need to declutter
I'm a monster
I need a bed to sleep under.
It's all fine but I'm not convinced.
It's getting better but no promises. x 2
(Mild Child, Mary Lynn, and Happy Tooth)
Everything's okay.
|
||||
Happy Tooth Columbus, Ohio
"Both Happy Tooth and BDotJeff spoke to the idea that music can be therapeutic, and writing and recording is now less about reaching a larger audience than steadying the turmoil within. “You do start to question your own motivations, like, why am I doing this?” Happy Tooth said. “And I’ve realized that I love the art, and I have to make it because deep down it makes me feel better.” - MatterNews ... more
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